


Maze to Happiness

by AlvinSci



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Gender Identity, Gender Related, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Memories, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 06:10:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlvinSci/pseuds/AlvinSci
Summary: When Alex Fierro gets knocked out, Magnus is going to have to heal her but by doing so, he would be able to see her memories. What would Magnus see when he heals her?





	Maze to Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic and just writing in general. I hope you guys like it.

_Whoosh!_               

I stepped out of the spiralling golden portal and found myself instantly blinded by the glaring summer sun above me. Shielding my eyes, I squinted through the tiny relief my hand brought me and realised I landed in Central Park. I heard two more “whooshes” behind me and heard footsteps crunching on the grass. The rest of the team has arrived.

              “The light!” Alex hissed as she pivoted away from the sun, raising her arm to hold an imaginary cape. “It burns!”

              “Should have brought sunglasses,” Sam said, also shielding her eyes from the sun. “And your Dracula impression sucks.”

              Suddenly, a draught of wind as cold as ice blew past us and the four of us shivered in response. The frigid wind bit into my stinging cheeks and my arms were instantly riddled with goosebumps, my thin t-shirt giving no protection against the bitter wind. 

              “Wh… What was that?” I stuttered, my teeth chattering from the cold. “It’s the summer, but that felt like a winter draught.”

              “Thank you Captain Obvious,” Alex said sarcastically as she rolled his eyes, “like we couldn’t figure that out.”

              “And as for what caused that, I believe that answers your question.” She said as she turned around and pointed at the extremely obvious ice giants terrorising a group of mortals sitting on the grass with their icy breath.  Eight ice giants to be exact. The mortals could not see the ice giants though, instead, thinking it was just a sudden cool gust of wind threatening to blow them away. Mortals are sometimes cute this way.

              “Oh. In that case, charge?” I said, drawing my sword out with a practised twirl.

              “Charge.” Alex affirmed and we charged towards the ice giants.

              Sam and Alex split away from me as they headed towards their own targets. I continued to run forward towards an ice giant, who had uprooted a nearby tree and was playing with it, freezing the tree bit by bit and flicking the frozen pieces towards the sea.

              “Hey, Olaf!” I yelled. The 15-feet ice giant whipped his head towards my voice in confusion, like he wasn’t sure whether I was talking about him or one of his other buddies.

              “Yes you, snowman. Prepare to become a puddle!” In the corner of my eye, I saw Alex facepalm at my quip.

The ice giant dropped the trunk in shock and rage and lunged at me. I leapt upwards towards him and, feet first, jumped off its back with all of my enhanced einherji strength and sent him tumbling to the ground off-balanced. I, on the other hand, did a somersault and landed gracefully on my two feet on the giant’s unusually rotund belly. Oh, and with my sword embedded in his chest, right in his ice-cold heart. Can’t forget that important little detail.

              I grabbed the hilt and rolled off the belly, pulling my sword out of the giant at the same time, the blade now covered in blue blood. I then proceeded to throw my sword at another giant, landing straight between his two eyes. With a cry, the other ice giant fell and disintegrated into a pile of icy dust.

              I turned towards Sam to check whether she needed any help but seeing her drive her axe into the last giant, I figured she didn’t need any. Suddenly, I heard a shrill cry penetrate the air.

             

I whipped my head around so rapidly, I almost gave myself whiplash. Alex was unconscious and was being held in the giant’s abnormally calloused fist.  The giant gave off a maniacal laugh and roared at her, causing her hair to whip around her face. I do not understand giant, but I think it went along the lines of _you killed my buddies, so now I kill you._

I just stood there, rooted to the ground in shock. I picked up my sword ready to charge, but before I had a chance to react though, an axe planted itself between the giant’s eyes. I turned towards Sam to find her arm outstretched with a murderous look in her eyes. The giant crumpled to the ground which caused the ground to vibrate, and me to almost lose my footing. That would have been embarrassing. The giant’s fist opened and Alex’s limp body rolled off its palm.

I quickly ran to her side. Closer up, her lips were tinged blue and ice speckled her green hair. Her skin felt ice cold. I put a hand on her chest and concentrated, trying to sense what was wrong with her. Then, I gave a whistle in astonishment.

“Whistle? Why the whistle?” Sam asked, appearing behind me. “What’s wrong with her?”

“It’s not good. The giant must’ve caught her off-guard with its ice breath and gave her hypothermia. She isn’t breathing and her heart is weak. She won’t die though.”

“Then heal her already!”

“Problem is, this healing is going to take a lot of effort, and I am going to receive a backlash of memories from her, especially the bad ones. And I made a promise not to do it unless she gave me permission.”

“Then wake her up!” Sam was starting to get slightly exasperated from this conversation.

“I can’t. If I do, she will die.”

“Then just bloody heal her! Better to have her alive than dead is it?”

I didn’t hesitate and put both hands on Alex’s chest. After all, I do not want two girls angry at me. One was already enough. Usually, when healing minor injuries, I just need to summon a bit of power. But for serious cases like this one, I have to put some sort of warm or happy memory behind it.

I took a breath and summoned a memory that has been in my mind for quite some time. Alex and I were cuddling on a sofa watching the latest episode of Rick and Morty on Netflix. Alex had her arm around me and I was comfortably resting my head on her shoulder. Her green hair was rustling against my own and every time I took a breath, I smelled a sort of citrusy fragrance that made me think of orange trees in a field. Looking up at her, I was sucked into her pair of two-colour eyes. One dark brown, another pale amber, they seemed to draw my gaze into their beautiful kaleidoscope of colours. I decided to avert my gaze before I get caught staring at her like an idiot and settled on her lips. Great choice Magnus.

              Deciding that I valued my lips and not wanting to ruin the moment, I settled for turning my head back to the television screen, being perfectly content with me cuddling up next to her.

              Then, the wave of her memories washed over me. 

 

 

I, or rather, young Alex was in primary school, and was sitting with a group of classmates, all of them were boys. It was recess, and they were watching a few boys and girls chase each other.

“Who do you think is prettier?” One of the boys asked, his name was Dylan according to Alex’s memories. “Sarah or Hazel?”

“Ooo… I think Sarah is prettier, especially with her long hair.” Another, Zack, replied. “How about you Alex, which girl do you think is prettier?”

“Um… Well, not sure about girls, but I think Cody is quite cute,” Alex said, pointing to a petite blonde boy with pale blue eyes who was running away from a girl laughing.

The whole group went silent instantly. Everyone was looking at her weirdly, and Alex squirmed under everyone’s gaze. Then, Dylan laughed.

“Ha Ha! That’s hilarious, Alex! But seriously, and give me a normal answer now, who do you think is prettier?”

Alex stared at the plaza of girls, before settling on what seemed to be a normal answer at present.

“Audrey,” he said.

 

Then, the memory dissolved into white mist and it reformed into a dressing room in a kids’ clothes store. Alex was standing in front of a full-length mirror, staring at a reflection of herself in a delicate green sleeveless dress that she saw in the window of a store. Putting her arms to her side she twirled around, marvelling at how graceful she looked with the skirt spinning. She brushed her hand through the comfortable cotton, and visibly relaxed at the thought of being able to wear something she wanted for once.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Are you done Alex?”

“Yea Grandpa!” She accidentally yelled, being too filled with excitement.

“Then let me see.” He said, as Alex unlocked the door with a click and swung the door open. She stepped out of the dressing room, looking down at the floor shamefully, as the reality of the moment caught up with her.

His grandpa gasped, his words stuck at his throat. Alex looked up, expecting to see a face coiled up with disgust and hate.  Instead, his eyes were sparkling, filled with love, and his mouth open with shock.

“You. You look beautiful Alex.” He said as he crouched down to look at the girl in the eyes. “You look spectacular.”

Alex teared up at the sentiment. Nobody has said that to her before. It has always been freak or weirdo, but never beautiful. She wrapped her arms tightly around her grandfather’s neck as she sobbed into his shoulder from joy. Grandpa slightly tensed up from the sudden tears being shed from the little girl. He slowly comforted her by gently patting her back.  

“There, there,” he soothed. _Never understood why people said that phrase to console someone._ “If you like it so much, how about we buy that dress for you?”

“Really?” She said, sniffling from the tears.

“Yep.” He motioned at a shop clerk to get their attention. “I would like to buy this dress for my little girl please.”

As Alex followed her grandfather to the cashier, she knew deep down that this might be the first and last time she would wear this dress in public in fear that she would never reveal her true self to others. But burying that thought deep down, she skipped merrily beside her grandfather all the way out of the store.

 

As the memory once again dissolved into mist, I wondered whether that was why Alex liked the colour green, perhaps to honour her grandfather.

Then, I was, I mean Alex was, standing around a corner of a doorway in a house. Man, it’s always difficult to differentiate perspectives when I am seeing memories. Again, it was an old memory, about the same age as when Alex bought the dress.

It was the middle of the night, and Alex was supposed to be in bed but he woke up from some loud noise coming from the living room. He was hiding by the doorway of the living room, eavesdropping on the loud conversation that is occurring between his father and grandpa.

He peeked his head around the corner and found his father and grandpa standing in the middle of the room in a verbal standoff. Both of their faces were contorted in anger. Their eyes were narrowed, rigid and cold. The warmth and laughter that he was so accustomed to in his grandfather’s eyes gone, replaced by permafrost and flames.  His father, on the other hand, still looked the same as whenever he looked at him. The same eyes filled with disgust and hate, with the same silent wish of him never being born.

“How many times do I have to tell you Dad, not to encourage this type of abnormal behaviour! I’ve been trying to control him ever since that fiasco with the girl shoes, then you go around my back and buy him a dress?” Alex’s father yelled.

“Keep it down! Alex is still asleep upstairs. You would not want him to hear his father calling him abnormal, would you?” His grandfather yelled in a softer tone. “And as for the dress, it made him happy. You should’ve seen the look on his face when I bought him that dress.” His face softened at the memory, becoming more like a slushie instead of hard cold ice.

“It doesn’t matter whether he’s happy or not. I have a reputation to maintain, especially after the blow it took after Alex told a bunch of my colleagues about his affinity to dresses,” he said, seething through gritted teeth. _Father or not, I really wanted to punch this man right at the jaw for talking about Alex like that._

His grandfather then slapped his father across the face. _Thanks, Alex’s grandfather._ “You take that back,” his grandpa fumed, pointing his finger at his father. “It is the duty of a parent to make sure his or her child is happy. Here’s something a friend told me, if a daughter is unhappy because her parents insist on calling her their son, they have failed as a parent.”

Both men stared at each other for about half a minute,

“Let’s just hope this is just a phase that he is going through because I am warning you Dad, if he continues with that insolence, I will throw out every girly thing in his room.”

Alex stood there rooted to the floor, feeling the brunt of the entire conversation on him. Tears were silently streaming down his face as he contemplated the words his father said about him. He knew he had to be extremely careful from now on. Silently sniffling, he made a promise to himself, to never, ever, reveal his other side to anyone else and to keep all his feelings and thoughts to himself, buried in the deepest recesses of his heart.

Sensing the conversation was nearing an end, he quickly ran up to his room and buried himself in his bed, sobbing himself to sleep.

My heart broke from the melancholy and grief. I knew that Alex’s childhood was filled with trauma and abuse, but I never knew that it was that serious. The moment she wakes up, I am going to give her a huge hug. Well, maybe a quick hug. I do not wish for an early death.

 

Another memory. This time though she was older, in secondary school, and it was filled with nervousness and fear. Alex was standing in an empty courtyard with a friend in tow. Leading him to a secluded corner of the courtyard, she turned face-to-face at the clueless boy. A name surfaced from the memory, William.

“What are we doing here Alex? You said you had something to tell me,” William asked, looking around the empty courtyard, expecting something to pop out and surprise him.

“I… You see… Um…” Alex stuttered, opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish as she had difficulty in forming the words to the thoughts in her mind. William crossed his arms, waiting patiently for Alex to say what was on her mind.

“Do you know what is LGBTQIA+?” Alex asked as she bit her lips, nervously awaiting a response. She started to fidget with her fingernails like she always did when she was nervous.

“Yeah… Sorta,” William replied with a curt nod, dragging his response out.

“Well, I’m the, you know, the plus.”

“The plus.”

“Yeah. I’m…,” she took a deep breath, “I am gender fluid.”

“Oh.” He said as he took a step back from surprise, “So, does it mean you can…?” He waved his hands vaguely as he now was the one lost for words. “How does it-“

“How does it work?" Alex smirked. “Well, as long as you don’t ask me to represent every gender fluid person on this planet. I’m no ambassador, I’m just trying to be me.”

“And no, I cannot change my gender at will. It’s truly fluid in the sense that it just changes randomly.” She explained with the same vague wave of her hands. “Some days I am female, some days I am male and some days I’m just both or neither.”

“Then what gender are you today?” William asked, eyebrows crunched as he took in the information.

Alex smiled. “Today, I am female. So, my pronouns are she and her.”

“I heard some people use ze or they, instead of the usual pronouns. Won’t it be less confusing if you use them?”

“Less confusing for whom? You?”

His mouth gaped open as he squirmed awkwardly at the question. Alex rolled her eyes in amusement.

“Look, some people might prefer it. Those who are non-binary or agender or whatever. But I don’t like using them personally because that’s not really me. When I’m a she, I’m a _she_. When I’m he, I’m a _he_. I’m not a _they_. Get it?”

“No. Not really.” William looked down at the ground awkwardly.

Alex shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand it or not. I just want, you know, a little respect. That’s all.” She looked at the still-slightly confused boy in front of her, deeply afraid that he would be like her father, that he would be afraid and disgusted by her.

Then William hugged her. She stood there frozen in shock, unsure how to react to the hug.

“It doesn’t matter what gender you are Alex, who is now a girl. You are still the same old Alex who I have known for 3 years.”

Alex swallowed down the lump in her throat which threatened to burst into tears. She hugged him back. She got what she has always wanted in her entire life, support and acceptance, even though it is only from one person.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

 

A slew of memories then formed and evaporated in rapid succession. A curled-up Alex being pushed around and bullied by a group of students, calling him a freak and weirdo and pulling his shoulder-length hair. Alex staring wistfully at a pale blue silk dress on display in a women’s clothes shop across the street. Alex in front of a mirror, running her fingers through her hair as she was faced with the indecision of cutting her hair short or letting it grow long. Alex trying to act like a male in front of her classmates during her very-female days.

Then, I emerged from her memories with a deep breath as I opened my eyes, as if I was just underwater for a minute. My hands glowed a bright yellow for a few more seconds before the light faded away. I collapsed onto the ground as a wave of fatigue washed over me from the effort of healing Alex.

“Oh my gosh, I was starting to get worried after the first minute,” Sam hugged me.

“First minute? How long was I out?”

“You had been healing her for 3 minutes. I was extremely worried.”

Alex’s eyes then shot open and propped herself up with a jerk.

“Giant!” she cried.

Sam smirked. “Too late. You missed the fun.”

Alex sat on the grass as she recollected her thoughts from the past few minutes. Then, she turned around and punched me in the arm.

“Ouch! What was that for?” I cried, rubbing my now-sore arm.

“That was for seeing my memories without permission.”

“There was no choice and you were-“

She leaned forwards and, wrapping her arms around my neck, kissed me on the lips. My thoughts screeched to a halt as I closed my eyes and savoured this moment, which felt like an eternity, as the world seemed to fade away. I leaned in a little closer, our foreheads touching, cannot fight the thoughts going through me right now.

\---------------------------------------

              I leaned back from him, savouring the kiss as much as he did. I looked at Magnus, open mouthed and eyes wide open.

              “And that-” she said with a pause, “was for healing me.”

              “I… I… I…” he stuttered like a broken record player.        

              Sam laughed. “I think you broke him.” Magnus stopped attempting to form a coherent sentence and just blushed, causing me to chuckle.

              “Come on,” I said, pushing myself off the ground and lending a hand to Magnus, “let’s go back home.”

              As we walked hand in hand, towards the newly-formed portal in front of us, I thought back at the wave of memories that Magnus and I saw during the healing process. Even though I was the same person from my memories - same eyes, same nose, same mouth - I am no longer the same scared little me from my childhood. I have changed and I have grown. I have accepted myself for who I really am and I no longer gave a shit for what others think of me. Because the only thing that matters is not what others think of me, but what I think of myself. I will not let the trauma of my childhood define who am I and who I will be, nor will I let it get in the way of my happiness. Because that is the only clear thing in this confusing maze called life - happiness, however cliché it might be.  

 


End file.
